#22: Beyond Heaving Bosoms: The Smart Bitches' Guide to Romance Novels by Sarah Wendell & Cindy Tan

[meganbmoore.livejournal.com]

We do it in the dark. Under the sheets. With a penlight. We wear sunglasses and a baseball hat at the bookstore. We have a "special place" where we store them. Let's face it: Not many folks are willing to publicly admit they love romance novels. Meanwhile, romance continues to be the bestselling fiction genre. Ever. So what's with all the shame?

A while back, Tan and Wendell’s website Smart Bitches, Trashy Books got a lot of attention when they discovered that prolific romance novelist Cassie Edwards had plagiarized various texts in order to add “historical flavor” to her books. Such as a post-coital discussion about black-footed ferrets ripped from an academic article. Now they’ve published a 300 (or so) page meta about romance novels.

The book is brilliantly funny and sometimes so spot on that it’s painful to read. Such as the 49 page “choose your own romance novel” section, which allows you to explore the most stereotyped archetypes of the romance novel in its various manifestations. This is followed by a romance novel coloring page and romance novel mad libs. Never let it be said that art projects and games have no place in semi-serious discussion?

Tan and Wendell deconstruct and examine the genre and its characters and manifestations on all levels, including its strengths and weaknesses, as well as the genre’s politicas and representations of society, race, gender and sexuality. And do it all in a typically brilliantly and bitingly funny way. A few quotes:

As we all know, rape only counts if the rapist knows the victim is a virgin.

Because having fantastic sex with the hero will solve all her problems and give her the strongest urge to give up her job, move away from whatever urban area she’s currently inhabiting, and pop out baby units forever and ever, amen.

I don’t wanna love you. I don’t wanna like you. I can’t stop thinking about your hair, dammit?!

Thou shalt not diss the reading material of another person merely to elevate one’s own.

And shouldst thou choose to remain child-free, thou freak of nature, verily thou shouldst display your nurturing streak with animals. Preferably cute, neurotic ones.

On our wish list: A pirate romance featuring a set of twins, both of whom are pirates. And the evil twin is a time travelling female pirate. And her first mate is a ninja, and they have kinky sex all up and down the foc’s’le. This one hasn’t been written yet, but somebody needs to get on it.

It’s not perfect-for example, the writers are clearly used to a format where they can later return and expand on their thoughts after receiving feedback, something they address themselves at the end, and I’m not sure I agree with some of their assertions, such as that it’s the hero’s job, not the heroine’s, to hold the reader’s interest-but it’s a good read for people who like the genre, either unabashedly or shamefully, and for people who wonder why it’s so popular, or why people they think of as smart read the things.