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50books_pocThis book is actually two paranormal romance novellas a little over 150 pages each.
The first is Dark Dream, part of Christine Feehan’s Carpathian series. I vaguely recall reading one when she first got popular and then not reading another paranormal romance for several years. The Carpathians, who we will call Emo-pires, are super duper extra angsty good vampires who hunt evil vampires. They dwell in a dark, colorless existence (complete with colorblindness, to make the saying literal!) until the second they meet their lifemates, when suddenly their lives are filled with brightness and hope and color! (No more colorblindeness!) They are, apparently, driven to possess the heroines and bind them to them for eternity.
The Emo-pire of Dark Dream is Falcon, who has dwelt in solitude among human for 1500 years. And, like, apparently hasn’t had a single buddy or girlfriend the entire time. The heroine is Sara, who found his diaries when she was a kid and so has been having dreams about him for 15 years. Her parents were also killed 15 years ago by a vampire, who has been hunting her ever since. Now she’s taken in a group of psychic kids. Which you’d think had some potential, but no. The first half is basically Sara and Falcon meeting, falling in love and deciding they’ll be eternal soulmates and live forever together in the space of about 3 hours, complete with comments like how he’s now permanently inside her since they’re soulmates, and we later learn he can use his psychic powers to make her more submissive and obedient if she’s doing things like being suspicious when she wakes up surrounded by strangers after being hunted by a vampire. The second half, since there’s not much left, is “look at all these characters and plots from the main series that you totally want to read now!” Oh, and Emo-pires must find lifemates and bind them to their will because Emo-pire women only ovulate once a century, so they need more women to try to birth their spawn. Most of said spawn apparently die in childbirth, so I guess it’s along the lines of “Hey, give up your life to eternally be in my thrall-but it’s ok because I love you-and do your best to get pregnant with my kid once a century. Of course, the kid will probably die, but I’ll raise him to be a good little vampire hunter if he lives!”
It is awful, and should be read only to better appreciate Marjorie Liu’s A Dream of Stone and Shadow. That one’s a Dirk & Steele about a multi-racial female agent named Aggie who can see possible futures and goes around rescuing children from sexual abuse. The hero is Charlie, a gargoyle whose family was cursed by a witch 50 years ago. His brothers were turned to stone, and the witch eats his heart every night, so his ghost can only visit Aggie in that period where he’s dead, before he grows a new heart.
They have psychic orgasms and he helps her rescue a little girl and doesn’t mind being consigned to cheerleading while she kicks butt. And then she sets off to rescue him from the witch. The ending is almost nonsensically dues ex machina, but I do not care, and the overall effect is that of an awesome dark fairy tale. Aggie is awesomely badass without requiring an angsty backstory of abuse and totally cool with the idea of becoming a parent and/or wife without being incomplete without them or needing a healing cock, and Charlie is sweet and charming and did I mention he doesn’t mind being rescued by the girl, even though he’s perfectly capable of being badass when not all cursed and chained up and having his heart eaten every night? There’s also this awesome bit where Charlie mentions that some evil people are evil because they have demon blood, and Aggie is all “Oh, screw that ‘bad blood’ stuff, you’re responsible for your own actions. And who’s to say that all of us with powers who go around spending our lives saving people don’t have powers because of demon ancestors, too?”
In short, this book represents the polar opposites of the paranormal romance spectrum. That is, half of it is shallow emo-vampire wangst with creepifying gender dynamics portrayed as True Love, and the other is original and interesting with cool ideas, good characters, and healthy ideas about gender relations. Were I not vehemently opposed to destroying books, I would rip it in half, glue the front cover to the Liu half, and chunk the Feehan half.
The first is Dark Dream, part of Christine Feehan’s Carpathian series. I vaguely recall reading one when she first got popular and then not reading another paranormal romance for several years. The Carpathians, who we will call Emo-pires, are super duper extra angsty good vampires who hunt evil vampires. They dwell in a dark, colorless existence (complete with colorblindness, to make the saying literal!) until the second they meet their lifemates, when suddenly their lives are filled with brightness and hope and color! (No more colorblindeness!) They are, apparently, driven to possess the heroines and bind them to them for eternity.
The Emo-pire of Dark Dream is Falcon, who has dwelt in solitude among human for 1500 years. And, like, apparently hasn’t had a single buddy or girlfriend the entire time. The heroine is Sara, who found his diaries when she was a kid and so has been having dreams about him for 15 years. Her parents were also killed 15 years ago by a vampire, who has been hunting her ever since. Now she’s taken in a group of psychic kids. Which you’d think had some potential, but no. The first half is basically Sara and Falcon meeting, falling in love and deciding they’ll be eternal soulmates and live forever together in the space of about 3 hours, complete with comments like how he’s now permanently inside her since they’re soulmates, and we later learn he can use his psychic powers to make her more submissive and obedient if she’s doing things like being suspicious when she wakes up surrounded by strangers after being hunted by a vampire. The second half, since there’s not much left, is “look at all these characters and plots from the main series that you totally want to read now!” Oh, and Emo-pires must find lifemates and bind them to their will because Emo-pire women only ovulate once a century, so they need more women to try to birth their spawn. Most of said spawn apparently die in childbirth, so I guess it’s along the lines of “Hey, give up your life to eternally be in my thrall-but it’s ok because I love you-and do your best to get pregnant with my kid once a century. Of course, the kid will probably die, but I’ll raise him to be a good little vampire hunter if he lives!”
It is awful, and should be read only to better appreciate Marjorie Liu’s A Dream of Stone and Shadow. That one’s a Dirk & Steele about a multi-racial female agent named Aggie who can see possible futures and goes around rescuing children from sexual abuse. The hero is Charlie, a gargoyle whose family was cursed by a witch 50 years ago. His brothers were turned to stone, and the witch eats his heart every night, so his ghost can only visit Aggie in that period where he’s dead, before he grows a new heart.
They have psychic orgasms and he helps her rescue a little girl and doesn’t mind being consigned to cheerleading while she kicks butt. And then she sets off to rescue him from the witch. The ending is almost nonsensically dues ex machina, but I do not care, and the overall effect is that of an awesome dark fairy tale. Aggie is awesomely badass without requiring an angsty backstory of abuse and totally cool with the idea of becoming a parent and/or wife without being incomplete without them or needing a healing cock, and Charlie is sweet and charming and did I mention he doesn’t mind being rescued by the girl, even though he’s perfectly capable of being badass when not all cursed and chained up and having his heart eaten every night? There’s also this awesome bit where Charlie mentions that some evil people are evil because they have demon blood, and Aggie is all “Oh, screw that ‘bad blood’ stuff, you’re responsible for your own actions. And who’s to say that all of us with powers who go around spending our lives saving people don’t have powers because of demon ancestors, too?”
In short, this book represents the polar opposites of the paranormal romance spectrum. That is, half of it is shallow emo-vampire wangst with creepifying gender dynamics portrayed as True Love, and the other is original and interesting with cool ideas, good characters, and healthy ideas about gender relations. Were I not vehemently opposed to destroying books, I would rip it in half, glue the front cover to the Liu half, and chunk the Feehan half.
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Date: 2009-08-18 04:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-18 04:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-18 04:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-18 04:55 pm (UTC)But yes. Seconded.
no subject
Date: 2009-08-19 08:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-19 02:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-19 03:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-20 09:41 pm (UTC)However, I do love Liu, and am looking forward to reading her part of this. Thanks!